In my doctor's waiting room, I explained to a WWII veteran what a Twitter follower count is. I think he regrets winning the war now.

You know yer addicted to twitter when you count letters in the surgeon general's warning on the vodka bottle & think "Yeah, that would fit."

What was the main difference between the war in Vietnam and the war in Iraq? George Bush had a plan to get out of Vietnam.

Not the typical format for a post here, but thought it was worth sharing My grandfather passed away this week, and I'll always remember him for his jokes. He served in the military when he was younger, then raised 3 kids (including my mother). When my mother and my father were dating, he went over to their house just to stop by (he worked not too far away), and he saw my grandmother scratching off a lottery ticket. He asks ""You ever win anything off of those tickets?"", and my grandmother repli…