#woods-and

Two guys are out hunting in the middle of now where... After climbing a particularly steep hill to get a vantage point, one man collapses. He then starts frothing from the mouth and convulsing. Managing to get one bar of service on his mobile phone, the other man dials emergency services. Operator: 911, what's your emergency? Man: I was walking in the woods... And then... Now I think he's dead... Operator: Sir, I am going to need you to speak clearly and slowing. Please stay calm. Man: I was out…

A bodybuilder gets lost in the woods... And dies of starvation when he can't find his whey.

Two guys are hiking through the woods... And they come into a clearing with a huge hole in the middle. The hole is very deep, the men can't see the bottom, it's just black. So one of the guys picks up a few rocks and tosses them in. They both wait to hear the rocks hit the bottom, but they never do. So the second guy picks up a pretty big rock, and heaves it into the hole. Again, they listen but never hear the rock hit the bottom. They're both amazed at how deep this hole must be. So the first g…

A man and a boy are walking in the woods And the boy says in his childish voice ""gee mister, these woods sure are scary!"" To which the man replies in a humbled tone "" your telling me! And I gotta walk out of here alone!""

Two Russians were walking through the woods... And they came across a pile of brownish muck. ""Look like dogshit?"" asks Commander Igor. ""Ya! Look like dogshit!"" answers Ivan. ""Smell it!"" commands Igor. Ivan gets down and takes a whiff. ""Smell like dogshit?"" asks Igor. ""Ya! Smells like dogshit!"" ""Taste it!"" growls Igor. ""Huh?"" protests Ivan. ""**Taste it!**"" yells Igor. Ivan takes a bit on his finger, puts it in his mouth with a scowl, and spits. Igor asks ""Taste like dogshit?"" ""…