#watson

What up Holmes? ~Watson

Holmes: "I say, old bean, is that mud on your boots?" Watson: "No, shit, Sherlock"

"I knew he was the murderer when I saw him on the dance floor," Holmes said. "You see, Watson, guilty feet have got no rhythm."

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, the fire dwindling nearby, Holmes said: ""Watson, look up and tell me what you see"". Watson said ""I see a fantastic panorama of countless of stars"". Holmes: ""And what does that tell you?"" Watson: ""Astronomically, it suggests to me that if there are billions of other galaxies that have roughly similar stellar population densities as represented by my view, that, potentially, trillions of planets may be as…

Watson and Holmes are returning from the lock-and-key shop where they've ordered an extra apartment key because Watson lost his. As they arrive, Watson bounds up the steps to 221B Baker Street and barges into their apartment as Sherlock Holmes follows him. ""I'll show you my deductions today Holmes!"", he says. ""I can deduce too!"" Sherlock Holmes shows him the only key to the apartment and says, ""What can you deduce from this key?"" Watson examines it. He says: ""The key has a speck of dirt o…

Sherlock and Watson are filling in their college application. Watson: Sherlock? Why have you skipped writing this essay? Sherlock: It's supplementary my dear Watson

Watson comes home and finds Sherlock watching television, he asks what he's watching. Sherlock replies ""Documentary my dear Watson!"" This my first Reddit post, I'm pretty sure I actually made up this joke.

What did watson say when he got constipation? No shit sherlock.

What do you call it when a hedge fund manager loses his job to a Watson inspired AI built by IBM? It doesn't matter. We'll all be laughing too hard to care.

The Case of the Missing Wallet A man walks into the office of Sherlock Holmes. He explains that his wallet has been stolen. He begs Holmes to take the case as he is a poor man, and the money in the wallet was the only money he had. Holmes staunchly refuses. As the man sulks out, Watson turns to Holmes and asks, ""So why didn't you take the case Holmes?"" Holmes replies, ""Because the man is a liar. He is not a poor man as he claims."" Watson, confused, asks Holmes how he could possibly know that…

Sherlock was working on his garden, when Watson walked over and asked what he was planting. ""What are you planting?"" said Watson. ""It's a lemon tree, my dear Watson.""

Doggy Sherlock Holmes was investigating a case... Doggy Sherlock: Any leads? Doggy Watson: Yes, Holmes. Two. Doggy Sherlock: Excellent, lets take them and go walkies.

""No shit, Sherlock"" ""Keep digging, Watson""

Sherlock Holmes Looks at the Night Sky Sherlock Holmes and Watson are laying in their sleeping bags looking up at the midsummer sky. Sherlock turns to Watson and asks, ""Watson, what do you see?"" ""Stars and the moon, dear Holmes,"" he says. ""What does it mean?"" Sherlock asks. ""Well,"" says Watson. ""It quite simply means that there are billions of gaseous balls burning millions of light years away."" ""No, what does it MEAN?"" Sherlock asks. ""Well,"" says Watson, ""it means we are in the N…

Elementary Dear Watson Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend .'Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.' Watson replies, 'I see millions of stars.'' What does that tell you?' Watson ponders for a minute.' Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appear…

A Good Detective Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are camping together. When they go to sleep, Sherlock says, 'Tell me what you can see when you're looking up?' 'Thousands of stars,' says Watson. 'And what's your conclusion from all this?' Dr Watson starts to think. 'If I consider it from astrological aspects,' he says slowly, 'I must assume that there are millions and millions of stars and galaxies in the universe. From psychological points of view I conclude that we're so infinitely small in comp…

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they laid down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. ""Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."" Watson replied, ""I see millions and millions of stars."" ""What does that tell you?"" Watson pondered for a minute. ""Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies, and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically,…

Sherlock Holmes and Watson go camping One night Holmes and Watson decide to go camping. They set up their tent and fall asleep. After hearing a noise in the middle of the night they both wake up. Holmes points up and asks Watson what he is able to deduce. Watson looks at the sky at sees thousands of stars. Watson says ""Given the amount of stars in the universe and the amount of planets that orbit around them, there must be other life in the universe. "" Holmes sighs and says ""No you idiot, som…

Sherlock Holmes leaves the bathroom without flushing... After he exits he tells Watson ""I think I am constipated."" Watson replies. ""No shit Sherlock?

My Science Book's Favorite Joke Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. They find a beautiful spot and set up their tent. After a full day of enjoying nature, they go into their tent and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes Watson and says, ""Look up at the sky and tell me what you see."" Watson is awestruck. After a moment, he says, ""I see countless stars."" Mr. Holmes replies, ""What does that tell you?"" Watson considers for a moment and says, ""It tells me that the unive…

Sherlock Holmes - Elementary Dear Watson Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend. - Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see. Watson replies, - I see millions of stars. - What does that tell you? Watson ponders for a minute. - Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. T…

Watson asks Holmes What type of rock is this? It has many layers compressed together.

Sherlock Holmes and Watson decide to camp in the forest First, they pitch their tent. Then, they cook out, roast marshmallows, then go to their sleeping bags inside the tent. In the middle of the night, both wake up, and Sherlock says, ""Watson, look in the sky. What do you see?"" Watson replies, ""I see billions of stars in the sky."" ""And what do you deduce from that, Watson?"" ""Well,"" Watson replies. ""If some of those stars are actually planets, and those planets are like Earth, then ther…

Sherlock Holmes and Watson are in a greenhouse when Watson says ""Is that an orange bush, Holmes?"" Holmes replies, ""It's a lemon tree, my dear Watson""

Dr Watson asks Sherlock Holmes... ""Holmes, why are you spreading fruit juice on my buttocks?"" ""Lemon entry dear Watson, Lemon entry""