#solomon

Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man in a three-piece suit. ""This young lawyer agreed to marry my daughter,"" said one. ""No! He agreed to marry MY daughter,"" said the other. And so they haggled before the King until he called for silence. ""Bring me my biggest sword,"" said Solomon, ""and I shall chop the young attorney in half. Each of you shall receive a half."" ""Sounds good to me,"" said the first lady. But the other woman said, ""Oh Sire, do not spil…

A priest and a rabbi are having lunch. The priest is chowing down, and says to the rabbi, "Solomon, my friend, someday, somehow, you have to figure out a way for you to try some of this absolutely wonderful Iberico ham. It is heavenly!" The rabbi responds, "I will Father Rico, I will." The priest sits up. "When?" Rabbi: "At your wedding."

An old Jewish man dies. His last wish to his son is to print an obituary. The son goes to newspaper office and asks how much they charge for an obituary. They tell him $5 per word. He says then print "Solomon dead". The newspaper tell him they require minimum 5 words. He thinks for a moment and says, then make it "Solomon dead, wheelchair for sale".

A burglar enters a house and notices a flat screen television. And as he is about to pick it up, he hears a voice saying, “God is watching you”. He then notices a wallet stuffed with dollar bills on the sideboard and as he picks up the wallet again hears the voice, “God is still watching you”. He looks around the room with his torch and spots a parrot in a cage in the corner of the room. He approaches the parrot and asks, “What is your name?” “Solomon” the parrot replies. “Who would be daft enou…