So there's my friend Pete... So, I have a friend named Pete, who is a bit of a hippy. He's got plenty of ""causes,"" but he's particularly into animal rights--it's kind of annoying sometimes, but whatever. As it so happens, he's also into Mediterranean food--all vegan, organic, and locally-sourced, of course. So when his usual store ran out of his brand of bread, it was kind of a big deal. He ended up dragging me all over town, all afternoon looking for some grass-fed, free-range ethnic bread. I

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Old maid's burglar A story I'll tell of a burglar bold Who started to rob a house; He opened the window, and then crept in As quiet as a mouse. He looked around for a place to hide, 'Till the folks were all asleep, Then said he, ""With their money I'll take a quiet sneak."" So under the bed the burglar crept; He crept up close to the wall; He didn't know it was an old maid's room Or he wouldn't have had the gall. He thought of the money that he would steal, As under the bed he lay; But at nine o

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Pete and Repeat were in a boat, Pete fell out and Repeat jumped in the water and saved Pete's life. Pete then asked Repeat to be the best man at his wedding. Pete's friends and family asked Pete what the name of his best man was to which he replied, Repeat. The family then repeated their question thinking Pete misheard them, to which Pete quickly caught on to the situation and informed him that his best man's name was in fact, Repeat. Then some noob created a joke about them. The noob was some d

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Johnny was working at the fish plant in Carbonear when he accidentally cut off all ten of his fingers. He went to the emergency room in St. John's and when he got there the doctor looked at Johnny and said ""Let's have da fingers and I'll see what I can do."" Johnny said, ""I haven't got da fingers."" ""What do you mean, you haven't got da fingers? For Pete's sake it's 2004! We got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I could have put dem back on and made you like new! Why didn't

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Guilty and Depression! A young woman took her troubles to a psychiatrist. "Doctor, you must help me," she pleaded. "It's gotten so that every time I date a nice guy, I end up in bed with him. And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a week." "I see," nodded the psychiatrist. "And you, no doubt, want me to strengthen your will power and resolve in this matter." "For Pete's sake, NO!" exclaimed the woman. "I want you to fix it so I won't feel guilty and depressed afterward."

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The Deaf Wife Problem Bert feared his wife Peg wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss. 'Here's what you do,' said the Doctor. 'Stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If

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