#napoleon

What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with a famous French general? Napoleon Bunnyparte!

Smart Ass Out Of The Box Answers By Students Who Failed Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die? * his last battle Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? * at the bottom of the page Q3. River Ravi flows in which state? * liquid Q4. What is the main reason for divorce? * marriage Q5. What is the main reason for failure? * exams Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast? * Lunch & dinner Q7. What looks like half an apple? * The other half Q8. If you throw a r…

The General's new clothes Preparing for an imminent, decisive battle, the General calls his experienced, trustworthy aid over for advice. "I am undecided as to what color uniform to wear" he says, "what did the great generals in history wear to their most important battles?" "Well" the aid says, "Napoleon for example wore a red uniform, so just in case he was injured, his men would not notice and keep fighting along with him". "Very well, then" says the general after a moment of contempl…

Charles XII of Sweden, Darius of Persia and Napoleon are sitting at a bar. Charles XII of Sweden, Darius of Persia and Napoleon are sitting at a bar, watching a military parade on CNN. Impressed by modern technology Charles XII says - "Man, if i had mechanised infratry like that I'd have kicked ass at the Poltava battle." Darius replies - "And if i had artillery like that the Greeks wouldn't stand a chance at the battle of Marathon." Napoleon sighs and says - "And if I had a propaganda ma…

Alexander the Great, Julius Caesar, and Napoleon Bonaparte are watching armies training in the afterlife. They walk around the soldiers and Napoleon is reading the Russian newspaper "Pravda (the Truth)" Alexander the great turns to Caesar and Napoleon and says: "With an army like this I could've also conquered the entirity of Europe." Napoleon scoffs and Caesar nods. Caesar points to the Artillery and tanks and says: "With weapons like this I could've conquered the known world." Alexander th…

An intern at a mental hospital starts his first day. He comes across a patient walking through the halls and asks "Who are you?" The patient answers "I'm Napoleon." Not sure how to handle this, the intern decides to be polite and asks "How do you know?" The patient responds "Jesus told me." Another patient, overhearing this conversation, suddenly turns around and says "No, I didn't."

After each battle, Napoleon would walk down and shake the hands of all his soldiers Each time, he would ask them the same three questions: How old are you? How long have you been serving in the army? Which of the two battles have you fought in? One time, a new, foreign soldier did not know French and was worried about what to say to Napoleon when it was his turn. A more experienced soldier next to him told him: "don't worry, he asks the same questions every time. First he asks How old you ar…

What happened when Napoleon went to Mount Olive? Popeye got pissed

After the invention of time travel, many historic figures were brought to the present to experience modern culture with varying degrees of success. George Washington nearly had a heart-attack because of the current state of the two party system, Napoleon tried to conquer Europe once more, and Alfred Einstein became an avid redditer, amongst many other historic events. But out of all the crazy things happening because of time travel, the most unusual thing just happened to be the ancient Romans…

Charles XII of Sweden Darius of Persia and Napoleon are sitting at a bar.

Why didn't Napoleon get his wish? Because he couldn't pull the wish Bonaparte.

Late one night at the insane asylum one patient shouted, "I am Napoleon!" A person in another room said, "How do you know?" The first patient said, "God told me!" Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did not!"

Which real-life dictator was the most fun? Napoleon BonaPARTAY!!!

You know what Popeye and Napoleon have in common? They both come on those little jugs of Olive Oil.

Why didn't Napoleon qualify for the urgent marrow transplant? They couldn't get his bonepart

What happened to the Russians and Austrians at Austerlitz? They got Napoleon Blownapart! Happy 200th Anniversary of Waterloo everyone!

Where does Napoleon keep his armies? In his sleevies

Why don't people name their kids 'Napoleon'? It's too complex

What could have been the most stuppidest result of Napolleonic wars if France won? Tsar Napoleon.

How did Napoleon eat his chicken? HE PULLED THE BONESAPART! Lol and a rock for yuhhhhh!

Where does Napoleon live/Ou Napoléon habite-t-il? Dans un bon-apartement.