#luke

Q: What did Obi-Wan say to Luke at the breakfast table? A: ""Use the fork, Luke.""

Lucy fell in front of the train she screamed out for help ""HELP ME! I DONT WANT TO DIE THIS WAY!!"", so Luke came running over and cut her throat instead. Nice work Luke. You should be more like Luke.

Seasonal Star Wars joke > **Darth Vader**: Luke, I know what you're getting for Christmas. > **Luke**: How? > **Darth Vader**: I felt your presents. EDIT: Formatting

Why could Luke and Leia never be together? They went looking for love in Alderaan places.

How did Darth Vader know what Luke would get for Christmas? He felt his presents.

What is the temperature of a ton-ton? Luke warm

Yoda stands in the doorway, surveying the crime scene. The victim is lying face down on the floor in a pool of his own blood. Huge chunks have been taken out of him, and clear teeth marks are visible around the open wounds. Against a nearby wall lies the suspected killer. Mouth full of blood (likely not his own) and back broken in such a way that he can't have lasted long. Yoda's partner, Luke, looks around in disgust. ""What do you think? Open and shut case of murder suicide?"" Yoda stares grim…

Three Brothers My friend Mike and his two brothers Luke and Bill aren't exactly the sharpest knives in the drawer. Just yesterday afternoon they found themselves stuck at Walmart because they locked the damn keys in the truck. Of course Mike and Luke spent the better part of an hour bickering over whether they should run back into the store and grab a coat hanger or to just call for a locksmith. Finally Bill spoke up and said, ""We better think of something quick because it looks like rain and t…

In the vein of today's Star Wars announcement, a topical joke In a deleted scene from Return of the Jedi, Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader are fighting a duel to the death when suddenly Darth says to Luke: ""Not only am I your Father, but I also know what you're getting for Christmas!"" Taken aback by the change of subject and suspecting a trap, Luke replies cautiously: ""How could you possibly know what I'm getting for Christmas?"" Darth Vader: ""Because I've felt your presents...""

Luke had it first Paul had it lost; boys never had it; girls have it but once; Miss Polly had it twice in the same place but when she married Peter Jones she never had it again. What is it? The letter L.

A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away... There lived a Jedi known as Luke Skywalker. Luke was a mighty warrior, and quite the ladies man. His use of his 'lightsaber' attracted the eye of the beautiful Princess Leah. Luke wooed the Princess, and they fell in love. All was great in the world, until Han Solo, the ex lover of Princess Leah, filled Luke in on a little secret. Princess Leah is Luke's sister! Luke was obviously distraught! Freaking out, he went to find his master, Obi Wan Ke…

What is the temperature of a Tauntaun? Luke warm

What's the internal body temperature of a tauntaun? Luke warm.

Seasonal Star Wars joke > **Darth Vader**: Luke, I know what you're getting for Christmas. > **Luke**: How? > **Darth Vader**: I felt your presents. EDIT: Formatting

Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker are on an epic fight... Suddenly, Vader stops swinging. He pulls Luke close to him, and says: *breathing sounds* "I know what you are getting for Christmas" "WHAT?? IT CAN'T BE! HOW?" *breathing sounds* "Because I have felt your presents"

"Update the force, Luke" Adobe Wan Kenobi

So Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader are locked in their final showdown... ...light sabers are flashing, the balance is delicate, but suddenly Luke knocks Darth's weapon away. As it's skidding out of reach, Luke moves in for the final blow. Quickly, Darth holds up a hand and says "Luke, wait! I need to tell you something". Luke, sensing a trap, asks why he should do such a thing. Darth replies, "Luke, I know what you're getting for Christmas." Slightly taken aback, Luke asks "How do you know that?…

What's Darth Vader's least favorite temperature? Luke warm. ^^im ^^sorry

Who says Jesus couldn't perform miracles? He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East.

Luke and Yoda are training on Dagobah Luke and Yoda are training on Dagobah. Suddenly, part of the ledge in front of them falls off. "Oh no, what do we do, master?" asked Luke. "Worry not" replied Yoda. Yoda takes out a giant 6-foot fork, lays it across the gap in the ledge, and they use it as a bridge. Soon enough, they come to a large iron fence surrounding Yoda's hovel. "Oh no, what do we do now, master?" asked Luke. "Worry not" replied Yoda. Yoda takes out his giant fork and bends a hole i…

Why is Darth Vader's helmet so phallic? ...because when they hid Luke & Leia from him, they removed his force kin.

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN Names =========== If Linda, Kate, Paula and Janice go out for lunch, they will call each other Linda, Kate, Paula and Janice. If Fred, Luke, Bradley, and Jeff go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Bruno, Scrappy, Peanut-Head and Godzilla. Eating Out =========== When the bill arrives, Fred, Luke, Bradley, and Jeff will each throw in $20, even though the total is only $34.25. None of them will have any smaller bills and none will admit they wan…

Luke cage In marvels luke cage everyone thinks that luke has super powers because he's bullet proof. But bullet proof black people isn't a super power it's straight up evolution.

So, if Ani is short for Anakin, and Ben is short for Obi-Wan, and Fives is short for CT-27-5555, and Artoo is short for R2D2, and Chewy is short for Chewbacca, what is Luke short for? A Stormtrooper

A priest is giving a young nun a lift home from church one day, A priest is giving a young nun a lift home from church one day, and as he's shifting gears, he rests his hand on the nun's knee. The young nun looks up at the priest and says, "Father, remember Luke 14:10." The priest withdraws his hand, embarrassed. Next time they stop at a light, he places his hand a little higher up on her thigh, again the nun says, "Remember Luke 14:10, Father." The priest apologizes. "The flesh is weak," he…