#johnny-johnny

Billy: Hi! What's your name? Johnny: Johnny. B: Hey, what's THAT? J: An iPhone 4. Mom: Who's your new friend, Billy? B: Johnny. He's poor.

It's contagious A teacher is instructing her fourth grade class, and she's telling them that the word of the day is 'contagious.' She asks if anyone can use this word in a sentence, and several students raise their hands. ""Carl,"" she says. Carl says, ""My dad told me to stay away from kids with mumps 'cause they're contagious."" ""Very good,"" says the teacher. Then she picks Suzie, who says, ""The atmosphere was contagious."" The teacher says, ""Excellent, Suzie!"" Then she notices that littl…

At a Catholic school, a class of children are asked... Teacher: ""If there are three birds sitting on a wire and one of them gets shot, how many birds are left?"" Girl: ""There are two birds left!"" Teacher: ""Correct. What about you Johnny?"" Johnny: ""Zero."" Teacher: ""That is wrong. How do you get zero if only one bird was shot?"" Johnny: ""Simple. When the bird was shot the other two flew away."" Teacher: ""That's a smart answer but it isn't right."" Johnny: ""Okay, how about this?"" *He re…

The little green giant. In a small town there was a boy named johnny, who was 8 years old. Whenever he was by himself he would play with his wiener, tugging, and pulling on it just for fun. When his mother would see him doing this she would always tell him to ""quit playing with your little green giant"". as the years went on he continued this, and every time his mother would mention that he shouldn't be playing with his little green giant. One night johnny,s parents were going for dinner and ha…

Poor Johnny Johnny walked into class with a black eye. Teacher: what's wrong? Johnny: my house is very small. Me, my mum and my dad sleep on the same bed. Every night, my dad asks, ""johnny are you sleeping?"" Then i say No and he slaps my face and gives me a black eye. Teacher: tonight when your dad asks again, keep dead quiet and dont answer. The following morning, Johnny comes back with a severe black eye again. Teacher: My goodness! Why the black eye again? Johnny: dad asked me again, Johnny…

Young Miss Cadence is teaching calculus and asks Johnny: 'Johnny, 3 crows are sitting on the roof of the barn. You get your gun and shoot one down. How many crows are left on the roof?' After a long contemplation Johnny answers: ""None, Miss Cadence."" Miss Cadence looks surprised and asks him to try again. ""I'm sure it's none. You shoot one down and the other crows fly again"" Young Miss Cadence giggles and comments : ""No, Johnny.. It's two. But I like the way you think"" ""I've got a questio…

Little Johnny Johnny was a chemist's son, but Johnny is no more. For what he thought was H2O was H2SO4.

A fellow pupil asks little Johnny -Johnny how do you know when your sister has the period? -Umm, it's when daddy's weener tastes of poo!

Little Johnny is constantly late for school and what's worse is that he always has a big lie explaining why. The teacher tells the principal that she has had it with his exaggerations. " The principal tells her to send Johnny to him the next time he shows up late. He will tell Johnny a lie so big that he will never tell another one. Ever. The next day, Johnny shows up two hours late. Johnny says, "I was two hours early today so I had time to fish in the pond on my way to school. I caught a 17…

Teacher: "Why weren't you at school yesterday, Johnny?" Johnny: "My grandpa got burnt." Teacher: "I'm sorry to hear that. He wasn't burnt too badly, was he"? Johnny: "Oh, yes. They really know what they're doing at those crematoriums."