#homer

I will marry a woman if she knows homer is Not a Simpson and Plato is Not clay

I went to the doctor because my hearing problem The doctor said 'Can you describe the symptoms?' I said 'Yeah, Homer is fat and Marge has blue hair'

My mate went in to the doctors the other day with a hearing problem. The Doctor said ""Can you describe the symptoms"" My mate replied "" Certainly, Homer is a big fat lazy yellow bastard and Marge is a skinny bird with blue hair""!

and i digress... Not sure which sub to put this on Was reading ""The Odyssey"" and early on in the novel Homer wrote about a man buying a person for 20 oxen. At first I was thinking about how stupid that was to not use money for that transaction (and obviously slave trade= terrible) but then I started thinking about how back then most people were farmers and 20 oxen means a good number of teams to draw farm equipment and getting the work done a lot faster. But if you are in the slave trade your …

who was the spiciest man to hit a homer in baseball sammy salsa

I told a joke in lit class and got crickets So my teacher was telling us about a class she took. ""I took a really epic class on Falkner."" and I responded ""not as epic as a class I took on Homer.""

If Jessica Simpson doesn't name one of her kids ""Homer"", then seriously what's the point?

I still haven't been able to deal with the fact that Jessica Simpson has had two children and didn't name either one ""Homer""

An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their Golden Wedding Anniversary. ""Let's have a big party, Homer,"" she suggested. ""You'll need to kill a pig."" The farmer scratched his grizzled head. ""Gee, Ethel,"" he finally answered, ""I don't see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago.""

A young farm couple, Homer and Darlene, got married and just couldn't seem to get enough lovin'. In the morning, before Homer left the house for the fields, they made love. When Homer came back from the fields, they made love. And again at bedtime, they made love. The problem was their nooner; it took Homer a half hour to travel home and another half hour to return to the fields and he just wasn't getting enough work done. Finally Homer asked the town doctor what to do. ""Homer,"" said the docto…

A biker goes to the doctor with hearing problems... A biker goes to the doctor with hearing problems. "Can you describe the symptoms to me?" asked the doctor. "Yes. Homer is a fat yellow lazy bastard and Marge is a skinny chick with big blue hair."

I went to the doctor as I had been suffering some hearing problems... The doctor said "Can you describe the symptoms for me?" Surprised, I replied "Homer is a big fat yellow bloke and Marge has big blue hair."

Homer A little girl who was writing a school paper asked her father, "Dad, what is the difference between anger and exasperation?" "It's mostly a matter of degree." the dad replied. " Let me show you what I mean". With that the dad picked up the phone and dialed a number at random. A man answered the phone and the dad says, "Hello, is Homer there?" The man on the other end answered, "I'm sorry, you must have the wrong number. There's nobody here by that name." The father hangs up and immediatel…

I went to the doctors about my ears **Me:** Doctor, I have a hearing problem **Doctor:** Can you describe the symptoms **Me:** Homer is a fat, yellow bastard and Marge has blue hair

Why did Moe finally decide to kill of Homer Simpson's son? he realized he was a Bartender

What is Homer Simpson's favorite rapper? A. Butter Finger

A group of guys went fishing. After each had enjoyed their catch, they were sitting around chatting about the number of fishes each caught. Kent said he caught 10, Randall said he caught 15, Homer said he caught 28, Winston remained quiet for a moment, then said without counting, "I think I have so many that I can't put them in one pile!"

An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary. "Let's have a party, Homer," she suggested. "Let's kill a pig." The farmer scratched his grizzled head. "Gee, Ethel," he finally answered, "I don't see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago."