#hail-marys

A priest is called away for an emergency... Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the street and asked him to cover for him. The rabbi told him he wouldn't know what to say, but the priest told him to come on over and he'd stay with him for a little bit and show him what to do. A few minutes later a man enters the confessional. He says ""Father, forgive me for I have sinned."" Priest: ""What did you do?"" Man: ""I committed adultery."" Priest: "…

I ain't wearing Nun A nun goes to confession and says bless me father for I have sinned, I am not wearing any underwear today. He priest replies, ""Don't worry my dear, the lord just requires 10 Hail Mary's 10 Our Fathers and 10 cartwheels on your way out"".

confession 1. A married man went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.' The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?' The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.' The priest said, 'Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box.' The man left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the…

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, ""I almost had an affair with another woman."" The priest said, ""What do you mean, almost?"" The Irishman said, ""Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped."" The priest said, ""Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box."" The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to…

A married man goes to confessional and tells the priest, ""I had an affair with a woman - almost."" The priest says, ""What do you mean, 'almost'?"" The man says, ""Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped."" The priest replies, ""Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to go near that woman again. Now, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box."" The man leaves confessional, goes over and says his prayers, then walks over to the poor box. He pauses…

Pat and Mike were walking down the street when they came to the church Pat says 'Mike you wait here I'm going to run in for confession it's been a long time'. Pat enters the confessional and says' Father forgive me I have sinned with a married woman'. The priest asks 'was it Mrs Murphy'? 'no Father' was the reply. 'Was it Mrs O'Boyle'? Again the reply was 'No Father'. 'Was it Mrs. O'Grady'? Pat said Father I'll not be teling you the lady's name! So the priest told him to say two Hail Mary's f…

A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended he called his rabbi friend from across the street and asked him to cover for him. The rabbi told him he wouldn't know what to say but the priest told him to come on over and he'd stay with him for a little bit and show him what to do. The rabbi comes and he and the priest are in the confessional. In a few minutes a woman comes in and says 'Father forgive me for I have sinned.' The priest asks 'What did y…

A married Irishman went into the confessional... ... and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.' The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?' The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped. The priest said, 'Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box.' The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over …

Two Guys, The Summer, And The Confessional A young man goes to confession with his friend on the first day of summer. When he enters the confessional, he says "Forgive me father, for I have sinned... I have been with a woman of poor moral fiber." Priest: "That's sad to hear young man... I must ask... was it Jenny Armstrong?" Young Man: "I cannot say father." Priest: "Was it Sarah Smith?" Young Man: "I will not say, father." Priest: "It must have been Michelle Geller." Young Man: "Father, …

Running a special this week..... A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the street and asked him to cover for him.The rabbi told him he wouldn't know what to say, but the priest told him to come on over and he'd stay with him for a little bit and show him what to do. The rabbi comes, and he and the priest are in the confessional. In a few minutes, a woman comes in and says, 'Father, forgive me for I ha…

A Rabbi in the Confessional Booth A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the street and asked him to cover for him. The rabbi told him he wouldn't know what to say, but the priest told him to come on over and he'd stay with him for a little bit and show him what to do. The rabbi comes and he and the priest are in the confessional. After a few minutes a woman comes in and says "Father forgive me for I h…

Rubbing equal ? A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, "I almost had an affair with another woman." The priest said, "What do you mean, almost?" The Irishman said, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped." The priest said, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You’re not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary’s and put $50 in the poor box." The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walke…

A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unmanned, he called a rabbi friend up and asked him to cover for him. The rabbi told him he wouldn't know what to say, but the priest told him to come on over and he'd stay with him and show him what to do. The rabbi comes and he and the priest are in the confessional. In a few minutes, a woman comes in and says, "Father, forgive me for I have sinned." The priest asks, "What did you do?" The woman says, "I co…

Putting it in. A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.' The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?' The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.' The priest said, 'Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box.' The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then …

A man went into the church for a confession Man: 'I almost had an affair with another woman.' Priest: 'What do you mean, almost? Man: 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped!' Priest: 'Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and donate $50 in the poor box! The man left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to l…

A married man goes to confessional and says to the priest, "Father, I had an affair with a woman... almost." "What do you mean almost?" question the priest. "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped." "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in," explains the priest. "You're not to go near that woman again. Now, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box." The man leaves confessional, says his prayers, and then walks over to the poor box. He pauses for a moment and…