A married man goes to confessional and tells the priest, ""I had an affair with a woman - almost."" The priest says, ""What do you mean, 'almost'?"" The man says, ""Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped."" The priest replies, ""Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to go near that woman again. Now, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box."" The man leaves confessional, goes over and says his prayers, then walks over to the poor box. He pauses…

A married man goes to confessional and says to the priest, "Father, I had an affair with a woman... almost." "What do you mean almost?" question the priest. "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped." "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in," explains the priest. "You're not to go near that woman again. Now, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box." The man leaves confessional, says his prayers, and then walks over to the poor box. He pauses for a moment and…

The miser's will A notorious miser died, and in his will he left his $3 million estate split evenly among his three sons: a doctor, a priest, and a lawyer. Being selfish even in death, he left each of them strict instructions to put the money in his coffin when they buried him. After the funeral, the three were talking, and the doctor said ""I have a confession to make. I didn't actually put all the money in the coffin -- it seemed like such a waste. I kept out $200,000 to buy some new equipment…

Poor Boy A young boy is standing at the edge of a cliff, crying his eyes out. A Catholic priest happens to walks past and, seeing the boy, asks, ""Whats wrong, my child?"" ""My mother and father were in the car and it rolled off the cliff. It exploded and they died, and I have no way of getting home!"" The priest looks around and, as he's unbuttoning his pants, says ""This really isn't your day is it, my son?""