#airport

[Airport Bar] Me: I'll have a beer, please. Bartender: That'll be $45. Me: Worth it.

Lazy vultures Two lazy vultures had procrastinated on flying south for the winter until the first frost hit, then they got worried. "We better catch an airplane to Mexico, lets go to the airport!" So they take off down the road, and as luck would have it, they come across two dead road-killed opossums, that had started to get nice and smelly, just like vultures like them. "What luck, we better take these with us, I heard the airlines don't offer meals on the flight anymore." So they each gr…

Military A little boy was standing in front of a mirror in the restroom at John F. Kennedy Airport, when in walked a Marine staff sergeant, dressed in his dress blues. The little boy turned to the Marine and said, "Wow! Are you a Marine?" The Marine replied, "Why, yes I am, young man. Would you like to wear my hat?" "Boy, would I!," said the little boy. He took the hat and placed it on his head and turned to admire himself in the mirror. As he was looking in the mirror, he heard the door ope…

Airport police say that the number of people smuggling helium balloons in their luggage is under control And yet cases continue to rise

An elderly American tourist arrived at French immigration at Paris's Charles de Gaulle Airport and began fumbling for his passport. The French official quickly grew impatient. "You have been to France before, monsieur?" he asked in an unnecessarily aggressive tone. "Yes, but it was a while back," replied the old man, still rummaging in his bag. "In that case," continued the official, "you should know to have your passport ready for inspection." "But the last time I came to France I didn't have t…

I knew a blonde that was so stupid that....... * she called me to get my phone number. * she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate." * she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind. *she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order. *she sent me a fax with a stamp on it. *she tried to drown a fish. *she thought a quarterback was a refund. *she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death. *she tripped over a cordless phone. *she…