Salmon and Chef A salmon walks into a restaurant, finds the chef and tells him: Hey, you! You've killed my father! Sure, tells the cook, this is my job. I kill fish, fry them and serve to people. I want you to stop doing this. Dude, this is what I do. If I stop, my family dies from hunger. OK. Let's play chess. If you win - kill me and fry me. If I win - you quit your job. And they started playing chess. Salmon wins, and the cook takes his knife, cuts salmon's belly and starts to dress it…

One day a priest was walking on a pier when he noticed a guy in a boat fishing He waves to the fisherman, and the fisherman asks him if he'd like to join him in the boat for a little angling. The priest enthusiastically agrees but explains that he's never fished before. The angler says he'll teach him. On his first cast, the priest hauls in a really big fish. The fishermen exclaims, ""Wow! That's a big son of a b****!"" Realizing he's in the presence of a priest, the fisherman says, ""Oh, father…

Mother Theresa looks down into hell from heaven... She sees them getting ready for dinner. It's a feast, beef Wellington, shrimp, twice baked potatoes, wine, champagne, and a million different desserts. Just then God came by and asked, ""Are you hungry? I'm making tuna fish sandwiches if you'd like one."" MT: ""Um, ok, sure."" The next day she does the same thing. Another incredible meal is being laid out. Lobster Newburg, all sorts of game, and even bananas Foster. She had always wondered what …

The Irish Nun and warm milk In a convent in Ireland , the 98-year-old Mother Superior lay dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable. They tried giving her warm milk to drink but she refused it. One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. Then, remembering a bottle of Irish Whiskey that had been received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk. Back at Mother Superior's bed, they held the gla…