An old man goes to the doctor... ...and asks him: ""Doctor, will I live for at least ten more years?"" ""Do you smoke?"" asks the doctor ""No, sir."" ""Do you drink alcohol?"" ""Not at all."" ""Do you spend a lot of time under the hot sun? For example playing sports, gardening or walking the dog."" ""No, doctor. I barely go outside"" ""Do you go to parties?"" ""No. I hate parties."" ""Then why the Hell do you even care?""

Two men walk into a bar. . . They look to the left and see a doctor, a lawyer and a rabbi. They look to the center and see a farmer, a pastor and a cow. To the right they see a genie, a salesman and a judge. The first man turns to his friend and says "Lets get out of here. This place is a god damn joke."

[creating the armadillo] GOD: I want a half turtle, ANGEL: Okay G: Half pig, A: Okay, I'm on it- G: Half anteater A: ...Are u drunk G: Very

To be part of the clan... A man is looking for a radical life change. After considerable thought, he decides to move to the freezing regions of Alaska, to live with the Eskimos. He leaves soon afterwards. He really enjoys his time there. He seems to be getting along with everyone, and has learned to adapt to the harsh climate. And though he's friendly with everyone, he isn't ever considered their equals. This eats at him for a while. He decides he must earn the eskimo's respect if he is to survi…