A Priest and a Deacon A Priest realized that less and less people were showing up to church every day. He goes to the Deacon and asks ""How can I get more people to come to church?"" ""Well"", says the Deacon, ""people like food. Maybe if you offer free food at mass, more people will show up."" So the Priest sets up a giant buffet, filled with pizza, fries, a soda fountain, and even a chocolate waterfall. The next Sunday, the Priest is disappointed to find that only 20 more people showed up to church. The Priest again goes to the Deacon. ""I still need to get more people to come to church"", says the Priest. ""What else do people like?"" The Deacon says, ""People like beautiful women. Maybe if you hire some models to greet people at the door, we will have a larger crowd"". Despite knowing that lust is a sin, the Priest still decides to go out and hire models to stand by the door to greet the churchgoers. The next Sunday, the Priest is still disappointed to find only 30 more people showed up to mass. Frustrated, he returns to the Deacon. ""You and I need to find a way to get at least 100 more people to come to Sunday mass,"" says the Priest. ""What will get the greatest amount of people to show up?"" ""Well,"" says the Deacon, ""People love money. Maybe if we offer free money, we will get the largest crowd of any church"" So the Priest and the Deacon place bathtubs full of money all around the church, and go out to the local city to advertise their church, even bringing a bathtub full of $100 bills with them. They painted ""Come to our mass"" on the side, so that everyone would be able to see. Soon, the bathtub full of money gained the attention of everyone nearby, and people were flocking to get free money. However, it also gained the attention of a local police officer. And that was the day a Priest and a Deacon were arrested for mass tub baiting in public.