A man and his friend go hunting. Paul tries to take his friend hunting, but when they get to his favorite hunting spot, they find ""No Trespassing"" signs everywhere. Paul tells his friend to wait in the car and walks up to the nearby farmhouse. The farmer answers the door, and Paul says, ""Sir, I've hunted on this property all my life, but now I notice you have a bunch of signs up. I wanted to see if it was still OK for me to hunt here."" The farmer scratches his chin for a bit and says, ""I'll…

A young couple on holiday was driving through the English countryside when they approached the gates of a monastery. A sign on the gates announced ""Public lunch served daily. Fish and chips our speciality."" The couple were quite hungry and, seeing that the noon hour had just passed, they decided to take advantage of their good luck and drive up the winding road to the refectory, where lunch was being served. They both ordered and quite enjoyed their fish and chips. They agreed that it was the …

A long joke about a monastery and a strange noise. A travelling salesman is driving along a dusty backroad to his next sale, when his car starts belching smoke. He sees storm clouds coming his way and night is falling soon. Getting out of the car he looks around for shelter and sees an antiquated old monastery on a hill not 5 minutes walk away. He heads over and knocks on the door just as the rain starts falling and a kindly monk answers. "Hi, my car is broken down on the road" says the sales…

ENGLISH IS A FUNNY LANGUAGE Let's face it -- English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant not ham in hamburger; neither apple or pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is …