Late Night Political Jokes ""Happy birthday to Hillary Clinton, who turned 68 today. When asked what her favorite gift was, she said, 'Donald Trump.'"" Jimmy Fallon ""They're talking about putting a woman on the $20 bill. And Hillary said, 'I'm available.'"" David Letterman ""Chelsea Clinton gave birth to a daughter named Charlotte this weekend. Hillary Clinton was really excited until she remembered that you have to be 18 to vote."" Seth Meyers
TRUMP: Hillary won't stand up to America's enemies. I will. *Gets into fights with Miss Universe, Gold Star family, and a baby*
Israel is like STOP TOUCHING ME and Palestine is like YOU'RE TOUCHING ME and Hillary is like I WILL PULL THIS CAR OVER.
"Mr. Trump how will you beat Hillary Clinton?" TRUMP: I'll win NY, Florida, Ohio, we're going to add states, Gerzona, Timbaland, Waterworld
[final debate] TRUMP: I'd like to apologize to hillary MODERATOR: umm ok HILLARY: umm ok TRUMP: I brought a gift *hands her a galaxy note 7*
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