I drove my car into a river and watched it turn into a mobile phone... One minute, a Kia. Next minute, Nokia.

Yet again my date made me get out of his car before we'd even had dinner. Uber is the worst dating app ever.

*goes to get phone out of car *sees car has been stolen *finds phone in back pocket OH THANK GOD

I never understood how a mother could lift a car with a child trapped under, until my phone got stuck under my bed.