A man dies and goes to heaven.. As he stood in front of st. Peter at the pearly gates he noticed a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asks ""what are those clocks for?"" St.peter replied ""those are lie clocks everyone on earth has one, every time you tell a lie the minute hand moves."" ""Oh"" said the man ""who's clock is that?"" ""That's mother Teresas, the hands have never moved."" ""Incredible"" said the man, ""And that's Abraham Lincolns, his has only moved twice."" ""Where's Obama's?"" Asked the man ""Oh that's in Jesus's office, he's using it as a ceiling fan.""