My mom moved me away from Texas as a kid, statistically decreasing the chance I ever get the death penalty and that's pretty cool

9am: Very busy day today, I need to focus & stay off the internet 1pm: did you know that Texas has the largest population of prairie dogs?

Me: Just to be safe, we should quarantine Texas and nuke it from space. CW: That seems like an overreaction to Ebola. Me: They have Ebola?

Texas. Where the vegan menu item is chicken.