(sees someone doing a texas chainsaw massacre) um can you not

Chainsaws: because "The Texas Weed-whacker Massacre" just wasn't scary enough

woah. you can say "Houston we have a problem" in messy situations that have nothing to do with astronauts or texas? this changes everthing

My nephew asked, "What's the secret to a long life?" I said, "Never order vegetarian in Texas"