a man goes to a doctor... A man goes to his doctor complaining that his girlfriend is pregnant notwithstanding their use of condoms and them never breaking. The doctor says: *"Let me tell you a story. There once was a hunter, who always carried his gun with him. One day, he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun. Suddenly, a hungry lion jumps out of the bushes, and comes charging toward him. The hunter pulled out his umbrella thinking it was a gun, pointed it at the lion, and th…

NURSE: Doctor, I've lost the cat's pulse VET: Ok. Time of death is 10:05, 10:05, 10:05, 10:05, 10:05, 10:05, 10:05, 10:05, and 10:05

Relax, folks. The dentist apologized for killing #CecilTheLion after he found out Cecil was famous. He meant to murder a NON-famous lion.

A frog goes to his doctor, the doctor says "I'm afraid you're going to croak very soon." the frog enjoys the joke and makes peace with death