NURSE: Doctor, I've lost the cat's pulse VET: Ok. Time of death is 10:05, 10:05, 10:05, 10:05, 10:05, 10:05, 10:05, 10:05, and 10:05

Relax, folks. The dentist apologized for killing #CecilTheLion after he found out Cecil was famous. He meant to murder a NON-famous lion.

Slave and Master A slave is working out on the cotton plantation one hot day and the master approached him. ""Say, Toby, I'm gonna use the outhouse, so I expect to see at least another barrel filled with cotton befo' I get back,""the master said. ""Yessuh, massa,"" Toby replied. So the master went to the outhouse and as he sat down a copperhead come up and bite him in the butt. The master yelled like a banshee. The yell alarmed Toby, who ran to the outhouse to see the master writhing in pain wit…

A woman takes her dead parrot into a vet's office... And lays it upon the examination table. The vet takes one look at the deceased bird and says, 'Sorry Ma'am, but your parrot is dead.' The woman isn't satisfied, and asks for a second opinion. The vet obliges and pokes his head into the next room and calls in a second doctor. A cat saunters in, jumps up onto the table, looks up to the vet with sorrow in his eyes and says, 'Meow.' 'Sorry,' the vet says, 'my colleague says your parrot is dead. Th…