Real men lay eggs..... Shitfaced and happy, Jack comes home from the pub late one Friday evening. Not wanting to disturb his girl, who's already asleep, he creeps into bed beside her, gives her a peck on her cheek and falls asleep. When he wakes up, he finds a strange man standing at the end of his bed. To make matters even stranger, the man's wearing a long flowing white robe. ""Who the hell are you?"" Jack demands, ""and what are you doing in my bedroom?"" With a completely straight face, which unnerves Jack, the mysterious man replies: ""This isn't your bedroom and, fact of the matter is, I'm Lucifer's lieutenant'. Jack is officially stunned. ""You mean I'm dead?! That can't be, I had so much to live for, I didn't even said goodbye to my family.... you've got to send me back straight away!"" he screams. The Lieutenant pauses for a while and then replies, ""Yes you can be reincarnated, but you haven't gathered enough karma for me to send you back as a human. The best I can do for you is send you back as a dog or a hen.' Jack is devastated, but remembers a farm not far from his house. Mulling it over while biting his lip, he finally asks to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later and he's covered in feathers, clucking around pecking the ground. ""Well, this ain't half bad,"" he thinks, until he felt this strange sensation welling up inside him. Soon enough, the farmyard rooster strolls over and says ""So you're the new hen, yeah? How's your first day here, so far?"" ""It ain't so bad!"" Jack the Hen replies, ""but I have this strange feeling inside....like I'm about to explode"". ""That's because you're ovulating,"" explained the rooster, ""don't tell me you've never laid an egg before"". ""Never,"" replies Jack. ""Well, just relax and let it happen,"" and the rooster walks away. And so, taking the rooster's advice, Jack submits to the Lord's whims and waits. A few uncomfortable minutes later, an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief sweeps over Jack, and his emotions got the better of him as he simultaneously experiences relief and motherhood for the first time. A few seconds later, when he's laying his second egg, the feeling of happiness becomes so overwhelming, he knows that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing to have ever happened to him..... His joy knows no bounds by now, and he's just about to lay his third egg, when he feels an enormous smack on the back of his head. He looks around and there's no one there, so he lets it go, concentrating on becoming a mother for the third time. Another smack and this time, he hears his girlfriend's voice, calling out in the distance. Jack looks up, the egg's crown just about to pop through his mother-hole, and this time he hears her clearly: ""JACK, WAKE UP YOUR DRUNK BASTARD, YOU'RE SHITTING ON THE BED AGAIN!""