A pilot was told to transfer mad people from Texas to Mexico..... he agreed and carried them in his plane. Every place was so noisy. Later one of the mad men approached the pilot and said ""please, can you teach me how to fly the aeroplane""? The pilot replied, ""I will teach you how to fly if you will tell your friends to stop making noise .""(He thought the mad man couldn't do it) The mad man went in, after some minutes, the plane was silent as if an angel had had just appeared. After some tim…

Ugly Baby There's a woman flying on a plane with her baby. And one of the other passengers starts making fun of this woman's baby, going on and on about how ugly he is. Eventually, one of the flight attendants hears this. ""Shame on you, saying such nasty things as that"" she says to the rude passenger, before turning to the woman. ""Ma'm, on behalf of American Airlines I'd like to apologize for that unpleasantness. We will give you a complementary meal for your troubles, and I'll see if I can g…

A blind man goes on vacation. He's never been to Texas, and decides to check it out. He books his plane tickets, heads to the airport, and gets on the plane. When he sits in his seat, he's amazed to discover that the seat is much bigger than any airplane seat he's ever sat in. ""Wow, this seat is gigantic!"" he says. ""I can practically curl up and fit my whole body on this chair!"" The woman next to him says, ""Sure, everything's bigger in Texas, hun."" The blind man lands at Dallas/Ft. Worth a…

An airplane was losing altitude over the Rocky Mountains. The pilot over the intercom said that the entire luggage needed to be thrown overboard if they were to survive. After all the luggage was thrown the plane was still going down so they asked for volunteers. A man from Paris went to the door and said ""Viva la France."" Next a preacher went to the door and said ""Lord forgive me for what I must do."" Finally a rich Texas cattle rancher said ""Well guess I got to do my part"" and he grabbed…