Custody Battle Husband and wife are fighting in divorce court for the custody of their child. The judge asked the mother to make her case as to why she deserves to have custody. The mother puts on a passionate plea and shocks everyone in the court room. When she is done the judge turns to the father and says ""she makes a compelling case and doesn't look like your getting the child but I must give you a chance to speak"" Father knows he is screwed as he is standing up to make his statement, bein…

My favorite joke, courtesy of my buddys dad. (A Newfy is a Newfoundlander, A north eastern Canadian it's interchangeable, just how I heard the joke) A Newfy calls up his lawyer looking for a divorce. The lawyer curious of the circumstances says ""Great! do you have a suit?"" The Newfy replies ""Yup, wears it to church every Sunday."" The lawyer thinking says ""Hmmm, No, Do you have any grounds?"" The Newfy retorts ""Yup, gots me 15 acres."" The lawyer still pondering how to simplify it continues…

Another set of Jewish mom jokes Seeing how my first post had a ~~huuuuge~~ kinda moderate success, here's another set. Because it seems americains are not aware of the jewish mom stereotype, here is a rough translation of the French Wiki : > The typical traits of the jewish mom include : > > * An excessive pride of their son's achievements. They'll always say ""My son, the doctor"" or ""My son, the lawyer"" > * In contrast, a jewish mother won't stop complaining if she estimates her …

A recently divorced couple were in court battling over the custody of their child. The mother spoke first, ranting and raving about what a terrible father her ex husband had been. The judge asks the father if he had any comments. The father simply replied: ""If I place a quarter in a gum-ball machine, who get to keep the candy? Me or the gum-ball machine?""