A man walks into a bar with his talking dog... A man walks into a bar with his dog and orders a beer and a light beer for his talking dog. The bartender stairs at him, says ""yeah, right"" and the dog says ""seriously, make it a Bud Light"". The bartender is amazed. Pretty soon the owner has to break the seal and ask the bartender to watch his dog. While he's gone, the bartender hands the dog $5 and tells him to go across the street to Sully's and order a beer... 5 minutes later the owner comes …

A cowboy rides in to town on his horse and ropes it in front of a canteen. After a few hours of drinking he walks out and finds that his horse is missing. The cowboy turns around and bursts in to the canteen. Seeing the cowboy pissed as Hell the place goes quiet. The cowboy looks around and with a deadly calm says, ""I'm going to count to three. If I get to three, I'm going to do what I did in the Winter of 76'."" The whole bar freezes in terror at the cowboy. ""**ONE**"" No one moves a muscle. …

Blind Guy Walks Into a Bar A blind guy with a guide dog walks into a bar. Suddenly, he yanks on the dog's leash, swings it above his head, and smashes tables and chairs with the poor yelping animal while the patrons flee in fear. After he's wrecked the place and stopped swinging the dog, he picks up a stool, sits down and orders a drink. The gobsmacked bartender asks him, "Hey Buddy, just what the hell do you think you were doing?!" The blind guy pats his dog on the head and says, "…

[creating the armadillo] GOD: I want a half turtle, ANGEL: Okay G: Half pig, A: Okay, I'm on it- G: Half anteater A: ...Are u drunk G: Very