In my past life, I was a message delivery man in an army base One day, I got a letter for Bravo Company, and took off to deliver it as quickly as I could. When I found them they were doing exercises in one of the yards, I walked up to the sergeant to deliver the message. He took the letter, read it over, folded it and put it in his pocket. Then he yelled out, loud and piercing. “Bravo company. ATTENTION!” “Henderson! Your mother is dead!” “At ease!” Now, Henderson didn’t take this too well and, sorta collapsed in shock. A captain happened to be nearby and approached the Sergeant to discuss what he’d just seen. He said “now, sergeant, I think it’s important to remember that, when you’re delivery news like… that, it’s important to keep the receivers feelings in mind. This is life changing news, it can’t be given so… insincerely.” And the sergeant said “ok, I’ll keep that in mind.” About 3 days pass, and I get another letter for Bravo company. So, once ago, I take off and find them in the yard, exercising. The sergeant took the letter, read it over, folded it and put it in his pocket, and yelled out loud and piercing; “Bravo company! ATTENTION!” “Mitchell’s! I’m sorry, your mother is dead!” “At ease!” And Mitchell’s, of course, collapsed to the ground sobbing. Now the captain happened to be nearby again, and he approached the sergeant, obviously thinking over his response more carefully this time. “Now, sergeant, that was… better. But this is still, devastating, gut wrenching news. It’s not the type of thing you tell someone, so… publicly. You need to be more… discreet, with things like this.” And the sergeant nodded thoughtfully and replied “well, ok. In the unlikely event this happens yet again, I’ll try to remember both those things.” 4 more days pass. Another letter. Bravo Company. Now, personally, im excited. So I take off and find them in their usual yard exercising again. I walk up to the sergeant, he takes the letter, reads it, folds it up and pockets it. Nearby we both see the captain leaning on a fence, just observing. He gives the sergeant a nod of greeting. You can see the gears in the sergeants head turning, his brow furrowed and a bead of sweat running down his forehead as he mulls over the letter he just read. Suddenly his eyes go wide, a small smile creeping acrossed his face. He gives the captain a brief nod as he steps toward, at ease, a man ready and sure of himself. “Bravo company! ATTENTION!” “Now… everyone’s mother, who is not yet dead, please step forward 3 steps towards- NOT SO FAST GONZALES!” (Edited for spelling mistakes)