So a young man joins the army.. So a young man joins the army, it was his life plan since he was little because his grandfather and father before him both served. He felt like it was his duty to carry on the family tradition. So after he joins he goes through all his basic training and testing. A few months later he is being deployed, unfortunately the day he is to ship out he sleeps in. Not much mind you but just enough to make him last in line to receive his fire arm. When he finally gets to t…

Father Murphy walked into a pub and said to the first Marine he met ""Do you want to go to heaven?"" The Marine said ""I do Father."" The priest said ""Leave this pub right now!"" He then approached a second Marine. ""Do you want to got to heaven?"" ""Certainly Father"" was the Marine's reply. ""Then leave this den of Satan!"" said the priest. Father Murphy then walked up to an old SgtMaj and asked ""Do you want to go to heaven?"" The SgtMaj replied: ""No I don't Father."" The priest looked h…

Small kid : Mom what happens when you die? Mom : Your soul will go to heaven. Small kid : No, I mean when you die, do I get your stuff?

[at wife's funeral] Son: At least shes in heaven now Me: [delicately places hand on his shoulder] You don't know shit about your mom