In Soviet Russia, a man is standing in a line to buy sausages... He says: ""That's impossible to stand for so long! I'm going to go and kill Stalin!"". After an hour, he goes back. People asked him: ""Did you kill Stalin?"". He answered: ""No, the line to kill Stalin was just longer""

Trying to buy things in Soviet Russia. (not my own creation, just ran into them and I think they should be told a lot) There was this old grandfather in Moscow who was a little confused. His neighbors knew that, so when they saw him standing outside his door with an empty shopping bag, they tried to help: ""Grandpa, what are you doing?"" ""Ah, sorry, I forgot. Do you know if I'm going out shopping or have I already returned?"" They could tell him that he wasn't away yet, so he went to see if the…

Why didn't anyone drive stick in Soviet Russia? They were afraid of Stalin.

In Soviet Russia a bar walks into men. The case of the man-killing-bar remains unsolved.