Vladimir Putin was practicing a eulogy speech for an assassinated Russian politician in front of a mirror... (ahem) "He was a dear patriot and credit to the Motherland, whom I personally adored as a friend and colleague. I vow, as leader of Russia, to find the culprits responsible for this vicious murder..." Putin then stopped and turned to his aide. "Are you sure this strikes the right tone, Yuri? I mean, in terms of timing? I've been a bit preoccupied, so remind me, when was he killed?" …

*Tweets funniest tweet ever *Dies laughing *Over 6 billion die laughing *Germany and Russia survive *Coz nobody left to explain the joke

In Russia, Vladimir Putin has said that the killers of Nemtsov "will be ruthlessly hunted down." He added, "It's cheaper than paying them"

Vladimir Putin, Fidel Castro and the Oort Cloud are riding on a train.. Fidel Castro, Vladimir Putin, and the Oort Cloud are riding on a train. Fidel Castro pulls an expensive Cuban cigar out of his pocket, lights it, and then throws it out the window after only a few puffs. Vladimir Putin and the Oort Cloud are both surprised by this and ask ""what are you doing, Fidel? That's an expensive cigar!"" To which Castro responds, ""in your country/post-heliopausal region perhaps, but in my country th…