Have you heard about the new car from Israel? Not only does it stop on the dime, but it picks it up too!

Israel is like STOP TOUCHING ME and Palestine is like YOU'RE TOUCHING ME and Hillary is like I WILL PULL THIS CAR OVER.

Two Jews meet in a NY subway a Jewish man who was riding on the subway reading an Arab newspaper. A friend of his, who happened to be riding in the same subway car, noticed this strange phenomenon. Very upset, he approached the newspaper reader. ""Moshe, have you lost your mind? Why are you reading an Arab newspaper?"" Moshe replied, ""I used to read the Jewish newspaper, but what did I find? Jews being persecuted, Israel being attacked, Jews disappearing through assimilation and intermarriage, …

A Texas rancher was visiting a farmer in Israel... A Texas rancher was visiting a farmer in Israel. The proud Israeli showed him around. ""Here is where I grow tomatoes, cucumbers, and squash. Over there I built a play set for my kids, next to the doghouse,"" the farmer said. The land was tiny, and the Texan was surprised by its small size. ""Is this all your land?"" he asked. ""Yes,"" the Israeli said proudly. ""This is all mine!"" ""You mean this is it? This is all of it?"" the Texan said incr…