Which athletes will not get Zika at Rio 2016? Those on Team Great Britain, because they'll leave.

Justin Bieber on the phone. Says he "won't be coming back to the UK in a hurry". Well played, Great Britain. Job done.

Rio declares state of emergency just before Olympics. That's like inviting people to your house for dinner but you have no food. Or house.

Rio just listed a slightly used Olympic stadium on eBay.