# ebay

There should be an eBay for evil people so they can purchase evil people stuff without having their motives questioned.

Won a time machine on Ebay. Disappointed when I received a clock.

#Rio #Olympic Stadium #Ebay #One-Liner

Rio just listed a slightly used Olympic stadium on eBay.

God, grant me the serenity to accept this stolen property, the courage to sell it on eBay, and the wisdom to not get caught.

I bought a book on eBay called, 'How to scam on eBay'. That was two months ago, and it's not arrived yet.

So eBay takes 10% of your profits and Craig's List is 100% free, but with the chance of being murdered...such a dilemma

#Craigs #Ebay #One-Liner

If I won Super Bowl tickets for me and 10 friends I'd have to sell at least 7 on ebay.

This Is total BULLSHIT! You can't even find ACME anvils on ebay. THIS IS WHY THE ALIENS DON'T TAKE US SERIOUSLY!

I wonder if they sell tumbleweeds on eBay, as it would be cool to have a few following me around the office wherever I go

#Ebay #Work

[5 mins after seeing our neighbour's new boat] wife: "everything's a competition to you" me: [trying to find the moon on eBay] "no it's not"

#Ebay #Marriage

"Well, congrats. You're a homeowner now. Any questions?" "Yeah. Sam put those glasses on eBay, why didn't the Decepticons just bid on em?"

6 more days, guys.. That's December 26. The day everybody puts their shitty Xmas gifts on Ebay so poor people, like me, can buy them!

#Ebay #Money

[baby wakes up in the middle night] "Go back to sleep, hun. I'll sort it out." [puts baby on eBay]

#Ebay #Kids #One-Liner

How many livers do people have? I want to make sure I have a backup before I put this thing on Ebay.

#Ebay #Marriage #One-Liner

Sold my wife on ebay. Dreading the buyer feedback.

#Ebay #Animals #One-Liner

Lightly used fish tank for sale on eBay. Does not contain three goldfish ghosts.

If someone is bothering you with unneccessary calls to your cell number, post their number on eBay with the ad "iPhone 5S for $1 only"

My 5th grader is one eye roll away from being listed on eBay this morning.

Never buying anything home-made on eBay again... I bought an 'Irony Detector' off of eBay, but it was broken. It detected everything *but* irony...

Ebay is way to hard to use I searched for lighters, and all I got was 71,274 matches.

Ebay is challenging to use . . . (x-post from F7U14) I searched for lighters, and I got 72,816 matches!

I tried to sell my old dogging stuff on eBay this week, without success. No bidders but I did have 12 watchers.