President Obama had lunch today with Hillary Clinton. Hillary told the president, ""After phoning my top advisers, I think I'll run for office."" And the president said, ""I know. I listened in.""

If President Bernie Sanders were to die in office... And an elaborate homage to Weekend at Bernie's was undertaken to cover up that fact, he'd still have less strings than Hillary Clinton.

The devil's offer One day, a number of years ago, the devil visited Hillary Clinton at her law office in Arkansas. "I can arrange some things for you, " the devil said. "I'll increase your income five-fold. Your partners will love you; your clients will respect you; you'll have four months of vacation each year and live to be a hundred. One day, I might even make you President. All I require in return is that your husband's soul, your daughter's soul, and her children's souls rot in hell for et…

An average American voter walks into a bar ... ... and sees Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton huddled together at the end of the bar, whispering to one another. Intrigued, the voter approaches the pair and asks them what they are doing. "We're planning the 2016 election," brags Trump. "What's going to be different about it this year?" the voter asks. "Well," Clinton replies, "We're going to rig the vote count and put me in office, as well as delete a few of my emails." "What's so important …