The 2008 US presidential election was too close to call. Neither the Republican nor the Democrat candidate had enough votes to win. There was talk about ballot recounts and court challenges, but finally both parties decided on a week-long ice-fishing competition, at the end of which whoever caught the most fish would be declared President. The contest was to take place on a frozen lake in North Minnesota. There were to be no observers present and both John McCain and Barack Obama were to go out separately and return at 6 p.m. each day for the catch to be counted. At the end of the first day, Obama had caught ten fish but McCain had caught none. The Republicans were certain that their man's greater experience would count in time but at the end of the second day, Obama had a total of twenty-five fish while McCain still had none. Suspecting a dirty tricks campaign, McCain asked running mate Sarah Palin to spy on his opponent. Palin duly reported back and said: "You're right, John, Obama is cheating. You're not going to believe this, but he's been cutting holes in the ice!" What I liked about John McCain was that he was always an optimist. He always saw the glass as half full . . . of his teeth. David Letterman