An old farmer got up in the middle of the night to use the toilet. As he was heading back to bed, he looked out the window and saw the lights on in his shed. A closer inspection revealed men loading his tools and farm machinery into their truck. He rushes to the phone and calls 000 (911) "I need the police! There are some guys clearing out my shed!" "OK sir, we have dispatched officers, they should be there in about an hour." "An hour?! But they'll be long gone by then!" "I'm sorry sir but…

I was sitting in traffic the other day, which was probably why I got run over. Signs That the Car You Just Bought is an Old Wreck As you leave the used car lot, you see the previous owner rush out and high-five the salesman. You notice that the free car phone they threw in as part of the deal has a local breakdown company on speed dial. The coat hanger that serves as a radio aerial is described by the salesman as a "feature". You would take your car into the garage for repairs but it can't get u…

The Police come right away when you tell em your baby is locked in the car... They don't however think it's cute to call your phone baby..

Patience can go a long way... A policeman was patrolling a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. There was a young man in the driver's seat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat knitting. He stopped to investigate. He walked up to the driver's window and knocked. The young man looked up, cranked the window down, and said, ""Yes Officer?"" ""What are you doing?"" the policeman asked. ""What does it l…