A teacher assigns her class an essay about the police. One little boy, Johnny, turns in his essay with two words written on his paper: ""They're bastards."" The teacher is so surprised at his response, that she calls Officer Friendly to help with the situation. Officer Friendly decides to pick Johnny up from school and show him around the police station. He shows him the jail cells, the evidence locker, the firing range. He takes him out in the squad car and shows him the sirens, the flashing li…

I never understood how a mother could lift a car with a child trapped under, until my phone got stuck under my bed.

I can't afford a police siren so I just taped a crying baby to the top of my car. It's working, people are moving out of my way.

Me: Hi Kid: M: Still? It's been a week K: YOUR FIRST INSTINCT DURING A CAR ACCIDENT WAS TO PROTECT YOUR PHONE! M: You didn't die. Calm down.