"Daddy, I want to watch Dora." Sweetie this is Dora. It's the one where she plays an NBA basketball game against the Brooklyn Nets

Daughter: why does that guy with the whistle keep interrupting the football game? Me: because mommy isn't there to do it.

ME: im nervous GIRLFRIEND: dont be M: what are some of his interests GF: he likes football [later] GF'S DAD: nice to meet u M: *tackles him*

My dad told me they once had to cancel a football season because John Madden ate all of the footballs.