#tyson

[neil degrasse tyson voice] the film is called Home Alone but thats actually a misnomer. in fact, kevin was joined in his home by 2 burglars

I feel like Neil deGrasse Tyson would be the most annoying person in the world to watch Space Jam with

WIFE: I love you NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON: My experiences with you lead to an increase in dopamine and oxytocin as well

"When you wish upon a star, it takes trillions of years for the wish to get there, and by that stage you're dead." - Neil deGrasse Tyson.

Reality show idea: "So You Think You Can Touch Mike Tyson's Nose." Hidden camera. Tyson isn't in on it.

[planning heist] Me: We'll need the element of surprise. Neil deGrasse Tyson: [appears] Actually, such an element does not exist. Hi, I'm Ne

'Space Jam' never gets old - that's because in the sterile environment of space fruit preserves don't spoil. Hi, I'm Neil deGrasse Tyson.

[boy spreads his little arms] Boy: i love you this much daddy! Neil deGrasse Tyson: on a universal scale, that is an alarmingly small amount

WIFE: I love you NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON: Actually it's just emotional comfort after years of being toget- WIFE: *packing* I'll be at my mothers

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from Tyson.

Neil deGrasse Tyson walks into a bar. Everyone leaves. ""EVERYONE?"" he chuckles to himself. ""7.4 billion humans couldn't fit in this space.""

Neil deGrasse Tyson will no longer be hosting NOVA. Looks like they had to cut deGrasse.

""If you removed all the arteries, veins, & capillaries from a person's body, and tied them end-to-end, the person will die."" -- Neil deGrasse Tyson https://twitter.com/neiltyson

Neil degrasse Tyson was standing in the supermarket. i made this up last night lol Neil degrasse Tyson was standing in the supermarket arguing with his father over which watermelon to buy. When a white employee approached them and said ""Hi, is there anything i can help you with today?"" Neil paused in mid-sentence and said ""NO! I'm sorry but you wouldn't understand... It's a DARK MATTER!""

Who is Hitlers worst nightmare? Kike Tyson.