#sir-shes

Billy Bob decides he's gonna divorce his wife ... The local parson hears of it and pays Billy Bob a visit to see what the trouble is. ""So, I hear you're intending to divorce your wife,"" the parson says over coffee. ""Yep,"" replies Billy Bob. ""Has she been unfaithful to you, Billy?"" the parson asks. ""No sir,"" says Billy Bob. ""Fanny Sue ain't one to run around cheatin'."" ""Is she abusive to you?"" the parson ventures further. ""No sir. Never raised a hand to me."" ""Well, does she neglect…

A LONG STORY ""May I ask the cause of all this excitement?"" asked the stranger in the little village. ""Certainly,"" replied the countryman. ""We're celebrating the birthday of the oldest inhabitant sir. She's a hundred and one today."" ""Indeed! And may I ask who is that little man, with the dreadfully sad countenance, walking by the old lady's side?"" ""Oh, that's the old lady's son-in-law, sir. He's been keeping up the payments on her life-insurance for the last thirty years!""

Julius Caesar: I’m here to see Cleopatra. Guard: I’m sorry sir. She’s in bed with Laryngitis. Caesar: Who’s that bastard?? I’ll kill him!

Julius Caesar: I’m here to see Queen Cleopatra. Guard: I’m sorry sir. She’s in bed with laryngitis. Caesar: What? Who’s that son of a bitch? I’ll have him executed!