#second-soldier

Three soldiers are in a hot air balloon, riding over a town with a mountain in the distance. As the mountain approaches, the sudden realization hits that they will not clear mountain. In a last-ditch effort, they try to throw out everything they can. The first soldier throws out their weapons, swords and such. Seeing as that wasn't enough, the second soldier throws out their boxes of food rations. Still not enough, the last soldier throws out a bomb, which was critical for their mission, but as …

Falklands Heroes Three soldiers of the Falklands Conflict saved their battalion from a minefield, and their commanding officer decided to reward them. They were waiting for their CO in his office in London when he strolled in. ""Well chaps, since this wasn't officially a war I can't give you any medals. So, I will measure the distance between any two points of your body, and give you five times that measurement in Pounds Sterling."" The first soldier decided almost immediately. ""I'll measure fr…

So theres this ship... This ship is carrying Hitler, his Nazi soldiers, and several Jewish prisoners. The ship sinks however, and the only survivors are Hitler, two soldiers, and one Jewish prisoner. Hitler says "this raft can only support three people. I'm gonna ask you a series of questions. If you get them right, you can stay." Hitler goes up to the first Nazi soldier and asks, "What was the worst nautical disaster to ever happen?" He says the Titanic. Hitler says "Alright you can stay". …

A British General and his Men A British General had sent some of his men off to fight for their country in the Falkland Island Crisis. Upon returning to England from the South American island, three soldiers that had distinguished themselves in battle were summoned to the General’s office. “Since we weren’t actually at war,” the General starts, “I can’t give out any medals. We did, however, want to let each of you know your efforts were appreciated. What the Government has decided to do is to…

First soldier : “Pass me the chocolate pudding, would you?” Second soldier : “No way, Jose!” First soldier : “Why not?” Second soldier : “It’s against regulations to help another soldier to dessert!”

First Soldier: "What made you go into the army?" Second Soldier: "I had no wife and I loved war. What about you?" First Soldier: "Well, I had a wife and loved peace!"