#sahara-desert

What gets less rain than the Sahara Desert? The sun!

So an american was in the Sahara desert and saw an australian. He was curious why he came to this place so he asked,"" Did you come here to die?"" The aussie then replied by saying, ""no i came here yesterday.""

A man walks into a bar after losing his job He goes to the bar and sighs.The barman, curious, asks, ""What's wrong?"" ""Man, I've just lost my job,"" he replied, ""I was a candlestick maker and I was tasked to make a candlestick for a royal banquet. I decided, since it was for a royal event, to make the candlestick out of gold. Somehow, I made a hash of it and due to the shortage of gold, my boss fired me on the spot. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that. It's good to air your problems out in …

My math teacher told me this one today Two guys were flying over the Sahara Desert in a hot air balloon. They were completely lost, and had no way to find out where to go to get to civilization. Suddenly, they see a man walking on the ground. Thinking they may be close to some kind of settlement, one guy calls down to the man: ""HEY! WHERE ARE WE?!"" The two in the balloon wait what seems like forever, until finally the man calls back: ""IN THE DESERT!"" and the man was then lost from their sigh…

A man with a giant orange head walks into a bar. He lumbers over to the bar, sits down, and orders a beer. The barkeep walks over and says, ""damn boy, what's wrong with your head?"" The man sighs and says, ""it all started when my plane went down in the Sahara desert."" ""My pilot suffered what I can only suspect was a brain aneurysm and I don't know how to fly, so our plane crashed right into a sand dune. Miraculously, I emerged unscathed. I wandered around the desert for what must've been thr…

Five men are stranded in the desert after their plane crashes. (This is a joke to be told rather than read. With as big an audience as possible. Exaggerated actions and yarn-spinning positively encouraged.) A plane is downed in the Sahara desert. Five men survive the crash, stranded in the middle of the harsh and unforgiving dust of Northern Africa. They have five bottles of water between them, and decide to try and walk towards civilisation. Weary, shaken and delirious, they set off on their jo…

A TV reporter and his cameraman are filming some lions in the Sahara desert, when suddenly the wind changes and the male picks up their scent. With a mighty roar the ferocious beast starts bounding towards them! Shocked and crying for help the reporter turns towards the cameraman, who had dropped the camera and was lacing up his shoes. Dumbfounded the reporter asks him: ""What are you doing? You wont outrun a lion!"" So the cameraman replies: ""I may not be able to outrun him, but I only need to…

A weak little man applied for a job as a lumberjack... ...but the foreman refused to take him because he was too small. ""I may look puny,"" protested the man, ""but I'm not. Just give me a chance to show you my strength."" The foreman consented and told the man to go chop down a giant redwood that stood nearby. Half an hour later, to the foreman's shock, the redwood was lying on the ground. ""Where'd you learn to cut down trees like that?"" the foreman asked. ""The Sahara Forest,"" the man answ…

A traveler became lost in the Sahara desert. Realizing his only chance for survival was to find civilization he began walking. Time passed and he became thirsty. More time passed and he began feeling faint. He was on the verge of passing out when he spied a tent about 500 meters in front of him. Barely conscious he reached the tent and called out ""Water..."". A bedouin appeared in the tent door and replied sympathetically ""I am sorry sir but I have no water. However would you like to buy a tie…

Hear about the blonde explorer? She bought a piece of sandpaper thinking it was a map of the Sahara Desert.

An Irish Lumberjack A large Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good Lumberjack. The very next day, a skinny Irishman showed up at the camp with his axe, and knocked on the Foreman's door. The Foreman took one look at the small Irishman and told him to leave. "Just give me a chance to show you what I can do," said the Irishman. "Okay, see that giant redwood over there?" said the Foreman. "Take your axe and go cut it down." The Irishman headed …

The Sahara desert walks into a bar. The barman says "long time no sea."

Do you have any experience felling trees? - Filling? Filling them with what? - No, felling. Chopping, cutting... - Oh! I've tons of experience cutting and chopping trees in the Sahara Forest. - You mean the Sahara Desert? - Oh that's what they call it now?

Sahara Desert. A somewhat predictable oldie but amusing nevertheless. A guy was lost in the Sahara Desert, desperate for water, when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he walked towards the image only to find a little old man sitting at a card table with a bunch of neckties laid out on it. The guy asked, "Please, I’m dying of thirst, can I have some water?" The old man replied, "I don’t have any water, but why don’t you buy a tie?. Here’s one that goes nice…

An old man was roaming the desert when he reached a village... Last year on my first cake day, I shared one of my grandmother's long jokes. I think of making it a tradition, so here's another: An old man was walking in the Sahara desert with his donkey when he reached a village. The people welcomed him with everything they could, offering him hospitality, taking care of his donkey, and feeding him. While having dinner, he was surprised to be offered camel milk, as it is of notoriously bad tas…

A lumberjack applies for a job... ...the interviewer asks, "so, where have you worked previously?" The lumberjack replies, "I did a few years in the Sahara Forest." The interviewer, taken aback, inquires, "the Sahara 'Forest?' Don't you mean the Sahara Desert?" Lumberjack says, "yeah, that's what they call it now."