#private-jones

The Captain called the Sergeant in. "Sarge, I just got a telegram. Private Jones' mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me." So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. "Listen up, men," says the Sergeant. "Johnson, report to the mess hall for KP. Smith, report to Personnel to sign some papers. The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh by the way, Jones, your mother died, report to the commander." Later that day…

A Sergeant calls his men out to line up on parade. He calls out: "Private Smith, take one step forward!" After Smith does so, the Sergeant baldly announces: "We've just had word.....your mother is dead!" Whereupon Private Smith collapses on the ground and starts crying uncontrollably. When the Commanding Officer hears about this, he calls in the Sergeant to bawl him out. "You can't just tell someone their mother is dead like that! Use a bit of tact and subtlety when dealing with something like…

“Private Jones, I didn’t see you at camouflage practice this morning.” “Thank-you Sergeant.”