#peter-parker

"You know, the average woman does it at least 8 times a year in her sleep." -Peter Parker attempting to convince Mary Jane to swallow

Boy, Peter Parker is lucky he was bitten by a spider and not one of those fainting goats.

Being bitten by a radioactive spider made Peter Parker suddenly fluent in karate & gymnastics...you know, just like a real spider.

Peter Parker was lucky that radioactive spider bit his hand not his ass or he'd have shot out web every time he farted.

Marvel's latest movie franchise follows an aging Peter Parker as he swaps crimefighting for medical studies in Spiderman: WebMD

When Peter Parker was bitten by a radioactive Spiderman, he became... Spidermanman.

The scene in Spiderman (2002) where Peter Parker catches Mary Jane's tray in the school cafeteria does not have any CGI. The whole thing was actually done by Tobey Maguire himself. It took him 156 takes to get it perfectly. How many takes did it take to catch Gwen Stacey? just one, after that she sorta...snapped?

What's the difference between Peter Parker and Basic White Girls? Parker gets paid for his selfies.

What does Kevin 11 have that Peter Parker doesn't? A living Ben and Gwen.

What do you call a Spider-man that is a valet? A Peter Parker

Why does Peter Parker main spy in tf2? Because SPY DA MAN!

Why does Peter Parker only have eleven months on his calendar? Because he lost May.

I'm surprised Peter Parker chose photography as a side-hustle... He seemed like a natural fit for web-development.

What would you call Spider Man if he was a valet? Peter Parker

Why did Peter Parker get fired? He spent all day on the web.

Why does Peter Parker have a shower in his apartment? He can't get out of a bath.

What's the difference between spider man and superman? peter parker can shoot webs. clark kent.

What is the difference between Spiderman and Superman? Peter Parker can swing a web. Clark Kent.

How did Peter Parker know Mary Jane was cheating on him? He spied her man.

What does Peter Parker wish he would have went to school for? Web design.