#mary-poppins

If Mary Poppins floated in on an umbrella today, they'd shoot her out of the sky with a drone.

*Mary Poppins voice* Ok, children! Time to go! [15 min later] *Batman voice* I said let's go.

Mary Poppins decides to grow some vegetables... Mary Poppins decides to grow some vegetables. When she picks her crop in the autumn, her carrots, potatoes, onions, and spring beans have all failed, but her cauliflowers have grown a treat. She picks them, cooks some for Sunday lunch in a cheese sauce, and they taste wonderful. After eating them for a week she notices two things. Firstly, her lips are full and glossy, unchapped, uncracked, and require absolutely no lip gloss to make them look full…

Gandhi was prone to many ailments, including skin hardening, emotional sensitivity, low bone density leading to bone fracture, overly philosophical, and prone to bad breath. He was often dubbed as.... A super fragile, callused mystic, hexed by halitosis. He was often mocked by films, most notably a musical number in the Disney Movie, Mary Poppins, where the term, 'Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious' Was a subtle hint to his conditions......

What do Ghandi and Mary Poppins have in common? Gandhi's political power was born from his ultra modest means - but it came at a price. His feet were in terrible condition due to his insistence on wearing rough leather sandals. Hunger strikes weakened his immune system and he was very prone to illness, but in his moments of weakness, he is said to have had incredible visions. When he did eat, his diet was extremely poor, cursing him with life long bad breath. Which, in summary, means he was a su…

The lady next door ran over my cat. She said she'd replace it, so I asked her how good she was at catching mice. Courtesy of Mary Poppins.

Mary Poppins was traveling home, but due to worsening weather, she decided to stop at a hotel for the night. She approached the receptionist and asked for a room for the night. ""Certainly madam,"" he replied courteously. ""Is the restaurant open still?"" inquired Mary. ""Sorry, no,"" came the reply, ""but room service is available all night. Would you care to select something from this menu?"" Mary smiled and took the menu and perused it. ""Hmm, I would like cauliflower cheese please,"" said Ma…

My mom's favourite joke A man gets hits by lightning and barely survives. The experience is life-changing, and the man decides to give up all his worldly concerns and possessions and focus solely on the spiritual. He follows through with his plan, and becomes a deeply religious vagrant who wanders the land barefoot wearing tattered robes, eating as little as possible, and forgoing all wordly pleasures. He carries nothing with him, not even a toothbrush. One day he wanders into a town, and someon…

A female drifter I'm a drifter, a woman, and you don't find that much, especially in England. I run a scam pretending to be a nanny. Too recently, I had to eliminate some competition for the job. I got in, and got in real good with the parents. Scared the kids. I gave them LSD and forced them to consort with a schizophrenic tea-shop owner and a crazy hobo and his gang. I intentionally got the father fired from his job because of a political disagreement, and ran off before blame could be cast on…

Joke I wrote recently The 1964 whimsical Disney musical film ""Mary Poppins"" was a big hit with families, and was very well received by critics. However, there was one group that wasn't laughing and singing along. The Icelandic Satanist Party protested the jovial and innocuous use of the word ""Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious,"" which, they felt, sounded suspiciously similar to their motto ""Soopirkalufraijalistikekspialadushis"", which means ""Evil Shall Reign Supreme"" in Icelandic. Party …

They call me the Mary Poppins of artillery... I deliver...

True story: when I was a kid I used to mix up lyrics. For example after watching Mary Poppins

Why did Mary Poppins break both her legs? because she had Supercalifrajilistic Osteoporosis