#kfc

Dont lie about your job, just word it better. Ex: "I handle client transactions at a fortune 500 multi-national corp" vs "I cashier at KFC"

Let's do something we both know we'll regret in the morning. Let's order KFC for dinner.

Cholesteroly? RT @kfc_colonel How would you describe KFC gravy in one word?

the year is 2017: every kfc location has a large shower room installed inside the building to wash away the customers greasy post-meal shame

Breastfeeding your infant is important. But what about the wings and thighs? Should I just leave the whole KFC bucket in the crib?

'Your legs, your thighs, they got me hypnotized' ~me talking to my KFC

I'd pray to God to help me with my overbearing KFC addiction, but seeing as the Colonel is my God, I can see that being counter-intuitive.

The thing about human relationships is that one person can be so overcome by a moment while the other person is thinking about KFC...

How long do you have to work at KFC before they make you a colonel?

Friend said I should try new KFC sandwich. I suggested we cut out the middleman & hook me up to an IV of chicken fat.

Every KFC meal comes with a large side of regret.

[at KFC] "One bargain bucket please" "ok sir, and would you like any sides?" "Yes please, otherwise the chicken will fall out"

(gym) Me: *tries to lift dumbbell *drops it Trainer: COME ON! IT'S NOT THAT HEAVY! Me: I know, it's just this KFC grease making it slip

KFC Team Member: Anything else? Me: More gravy please, I'll say when [several hours later] KFC TM: WE'RE GONNA DROWN M: I didn't say when

CEO of KFC: "We must always respect our customers. That is so important." Ian: "Shall we still serve them food in a bucket?" CEO: "Yes."

KFC now offering the Top Kill sandwich! Bacon. Cheese. Mud. Sandwiched between two oily chicken slabs served on a plate of shame

*sees neighbors bringing in KFC *knocks on door Have you seen my dog she got out *teary eyed Neighbor: Aw. No, but if there's- Some KFC?

Just saw a boneless KFC commercial followed by an ad for apple flavored beer. Anyone remember when adults didn't act like five year olds?

9am: *starts diet* 2pm: *injects KFC gravy intravenously*

When your bucket of KFC starts talking about the afterlife, that is some deep fried chicken.

KFC came out with the Obama Bucket.. Its all left wings, and chicken shits.

I once paid to see a man eating chicken one hour and three buckets of KFC later i realized what i paid for.

What do women and KFC have in common? Once your done with breasts and the thighs, all you have left to do is stick your bone in a greasy box...

What do a good woman and KFC have in common? After nibbling the breast and thighs there's a greasy box to put your bone in.

Why don't blacks celebrate thanksgiving? It's hard to be thankful when KFC is closed