#elmer

looney toons fans: ah, good... once again elmer has failed to put food on the table... he won't survive the winter. this is truly hilarious

What do you call a lame horse? Elmer

Letter from a Farm Kid . . . Now at San Diego Marine Corps Recruit Depot Dear Ma and Pa: I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before maybe all of the places are filled. I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m., but am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop…

A census man comes to the Appalachia mountains A man from the census, John, comes down from DC to go door to door to all the houses that didn't answer the census letters. The first house he goes to is up on the mountain, a real backwoods place. In front of the house he sees a three-legged pig, and thinks this is very odd. A man opens the door, and answers all of John's questions. John thanks the man for the time, and says, ""I just have one question, what happened to that pig?"" The redneck thin…

Farm kid writes letter home after joining Marines.... Dear Ma and Pa: I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled. I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting used to it, so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed t…

Elmer Fudd and Daffy break into a distillery. Daffy turns to Elmer and says, “ Is this whiskey?” Elmer says: “yeah, but not as whiskey as wobbing a bank.”

So Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd break into a distillery. Daffy turns to Elmer and says: “Is this Whiskey?” Elmer says: “Yeth but not as whiskey as wobbing a bank!!”

Fifty-four years ago, Elmer Harrison, a Montana mountain man, was drafted by the US Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him with a comb. That afternoon, the Army barber sheared off all of Elmer's hair. On his second day, the Army issued him with a toothbrush. That afternoon, the Army dentist extracted seven of Elmer's teeth. On the third day, the Army issued him with a jock-strap. The US Army has been looking for Elmer for fifty-four years.

Two golden-agers were discussing their husbands over tea. "I do wish that my Elmer would stop biting his nails. He makes me terribly nervous." "My Billy used to do the same thing," the older woman replied. "But I broke him of the habit." "How?" "I hid his teeth."