So son, you want to win the science fair, eh? We can solve this with good ol' American know-how *drone strikes other projects* We win

Sometimes I think Scientology was secretly started by Mormons so they could have a religion to make fun of.

*donates body to science* Science: "I have a boyfriend"

Ok America now is our chance to catch up on productivity, health care, math & science while the rest of the world is drunk & watching soccer