The water drought in California is so bad, that someone broke into my cousins house and stole his waterbed.

HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO, OR AS IT'S KNOWN AS IN ARIZONA, "CINCO DE WHAT-O? YOU'RE UNDER ARREST-O, PACO"

You could murder someone in California and they wouldn't even arrest you as long as you properly composted the body.

I'll believe corporations are people when Texas executes one.